BEVERLEY, EAST YORKSHIRE 2009
SNIPPET FROM THE PIKEHANDS INVITATION
The Flexible Pikehand
We (your organisers) both realise just how less bendy we are these days, so have started to limber up - now don't go getting worried about this; we are not cycling or rafting ... but if you want to participate as much as you can (without pulling something), then we suggest these eight potential targets:-
1 ----- Be able to do 10 push-ups; Joe can do more than this one-handed, we mortals use two
2 ----- 10 squats or similar
3 ----- 10 twists - this is legs firmly on the ground feet facing forward, elbows outstretched at shoulder height, hands clasped and then turn to the left leaving the hips unmoved then turn to the right
4 ----- 6 neck stretches - slowly crunch shoulders and contract neck, then shoulders back and stretch neck 'chicken like' as far as possible
5 ----- Reach for the sky - arms outstretched directly above you, then stretch for the ceiling or anything else above that seems appealing
6 ----- Calf muscule stretches - rest hands on a chair back, or anything at chest height, place one leg in front and the other behind you then bend the leading leg at the knee to stretch the calf muscles in the rear leg. Change over and repeat 4 times each leg
7 ----- The six pack curl!! - lie on back, bend your knees, hook toes under radiator or bed, hands behind head, then lift the upper body using stomach muscles, till elbows touch your knees: do just 2 and build up to 10+
8 ----- Sex: this is the only cardiovascular recommendation and a private matter, so will not disclose our preferences!
You got the idea? Just a little muscle tone and a bit of flexibility. We are sure that this is all surplus to you as, like Bryan, you go down the gym twice a week and also do at least one swim. If so ignor the above apart from target 8
We believe that if all Pikes did this routine regularly for the rest of their lives, each would live to drink at least another 5000 pints of ale more than if they did not.
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Alan and Graham were organisers. Also attending were Bob, Bryan, George, Jeff, Joe, Neil, Nick.C, Nick.T, Rich and Ray. Our digs were four large caravans on a site at Beverley close to Hull. We were divided into two teams so each team had their own caravan.
The organisers had an equally large caravan to themselves. It's only right as always for organisers. Some Pikes had difficulty finding the site but following a couple of mobile calls they made it. Pikes had assembled in the games room at the site where there were several indoor activities and beer. Everyone had already eaten. We had great competitions on the different tables. Some reprobates played the socks off the rest of us. Most were not fishermen but all had been pre-tasked to bring fishing tackle. There was to be an inspection of it at some time during the weekend. We all knew that Bryan would be the winner as he had the box, net, hat and umbrella to match. So for the ignorant unworthy majority their tackle would not pass muster. And it didn't. Cooking duties were shared out on a rota to the teams so we knew where we were eating whilst on the camp site. We even knew who and how our banquet was to be cooked and served. Pikes had also been pre-tasked to come up with a short speech or story about the fishing industry that they would deliver at the banquet. Hull had been an important fishing port in the past. Eventually we retired to our respective vans for sleep. Well we would have slept comfortably if it had not been so cold. However each of us found sufficient warmth by piling on spare clothes.
After breakfast each team was issued with one different coloured T-shirt bearing the words, "IT'S NEVER DULL IN HULL." The organisers had one as well. A team member was to don their T-shirt and compete as their champion against the other team's champion. As competitions arose it was prudent to choose a champion suited to the task. Points were at stake so teams gave their verbal (noisy) support. The T-shirt could be worn at other times during the weekend with the chance of points if the other team failed to wear theirs. This proved opportunistic throughout the weekend. We were then off to our first secret venue.
The national climbing wall centre in Hull. We were met by two tiny girls who were to be our minders. Each of them must have weighed half the weight of even the smallest Pike so balancing crossed our minds. The minders ensured suitably and lightly attired Pikes were properly fitted with safety harnesses and helmets. We were lead to one of many walls of differing difficulty. Instruction was given in safety in climbing.
In turn each Pike was attached to a rope under the control of a minder. It was instructive to see the minders were each harnessed and that their harnesses were anchored to the floor so balancing was very fleeting in our minds. We each had the objective of reaching the top of the easiest wall and be seen to touch the overhead pulley. Most did not make it on their first climb. The minders had us attached to their harnesses so that they could haul in the rope from the pulley above and keep us safe if we fell. Some of the larger Pikes did become detached on more challenging walls.
It was immediately apparent why the floor anchor was used. A quarter weight minder was soon suspended between a fallen Pike and the floor but had full control of him on his gentle descent.
These girls were small, skilled and efficient. At the foot of each wall there was a mechanical recoil device so that those Pikes who had satisfied the minders they were adequately proficient could hook themselves to it and climb without them. It took a little while for some of us to feel safe to let go and descend under control the minders and even longer to trust in faith with the recoilers. However the things worked fine. Then of course it was time for the champions challenge.
George and Neil were chosen to represent their respective teams and proudly pulled on their T-shirts. The girls picked a wall and a degree of difficulty determined by the colour of hand/foot holds. There has to be a winner, even though neither managed to climb far. One Pike got one hand higher than the other before falling off. By then it was time to shower and get on our way. One tidy Pike decided to collect any forgotten belongings and collected, among others, his opposing team's T-shirt. Inadvertently it was the one belonging to his challenge opponent. Needless to say it was not immediately returned.
We arrived and had a snack lunch at the Hull Rugby League ground where Hull Kingston Rovers were matched against the Catalan Dragons.
Pikes were to be Catalan supporters. We sat surrounded by Hull fans. It was our task to shout encouragement for the Catalans from where we sat. Dangerous you might think. We were totally ignored. Well it was not football so good neighbours abounded. Our French was not very good either which rather gave us away. It's a much tougher game to watch live than it is on television. Lots of times with trainers, coaches and medics running on. Outside the ground we climbed aboard our transport and headed back to our caravans for a shower and clean up before heading out for an evening meal. One Pike, in sudden recollection, said, "I've left our T-shirt at the climbing wall!"
The organisers did not have a spare so that team was at a disadvantage when it came to vying for points. The other team remained mute. It was dark by the time we got to town for a meal, well, that is after refreshers in a nearby pub.
What a surprise restaurant and a real role reversal for Alan. Only vegetarian meals were avialable much to Joe's chagrin. There was a grand array of dishes the like of which most Pikes had never seen. So we had our first ever fully vegetarian meal at Pike weekend. The variety was large and you could go up and have a second helping. The range of sweet dishes was equally large. They did serve beer so everything was good. Back at the digs we were told that we would be starting out a little later in the morning as the organisers had to get more provisions.
Once the organisers had gone it did not take much investigation to find their caravan was unlocked. With bold stealth one team, not so secretively, fixed the other team's T-shirt beneath the flip chart used by the organisers. When they returned we convened in their caravan to be advised of the day's activities. From a broad banquet menu teams were to acquire the food cook and serve it. No one noticed the T-shirt. We were soon off to Hull and proceeded down to the harbour.
We were met by a small team of guys who gave us a prolonged safety talk on para assending. They had a powerful speed boat that we could go on in small groups and take turns in the chair of the parachute.
George had the first ride but the second ride was a little problematic so the people running the event decided to abandon rides for the day. Apparantly the wind was blustery and made riding dangerous.
At this point Joe had to leave so we made our farewells with him. With time to spare Pikes went for a walk to the Hull suspension bridge. Pikes were surprised at the movement they could feel as traffic passed. That took only a little time so the organisers took us to a peninsular where we could walk for a while and enjoy the wild life.
Later in town we had a few jars. Pikes split into small groups to purchase parts of the food for our evening meal. Each pair sought their own lunch. We all met and returned to camp where we were mustered into the organiser's caravan and told about the fishing lake nearby and the time we were to begin serving the meal. The T-shirt was still in place under the flip chart. Bryan had brought enough tackle for each partaking Pike to go fishing with him. Some did go and inspection of their spectacular tackle efforts never took place. Meanwhile, with a lost and found notice, the missing T-shirt appeared in the window of the organiser's caravan. It was quickly claimed by the losers. Fishermen returned to the camp, with exagerations of their catch, in time for the later duties.
As teams were preparing the food the original perpetrator noticed the offending T-shirt left invitingly in view in the other caravan so he lifted it. Each caravan had its own cooking facilities so courses could be prepared secretly from the other team and oganisers. Our whole assembly sat down for appetisers. Only one T-shirt was on display to the unquestioned surprise of the organisers. The starter course was served and enjoyed. All subsequent courses were perfection as well and thoroughly enjoyed by us. The organisers, in trepidation, asked the T-shirtless team to begin their stories first anxious to see what they had in store. Well it was plenty. Each Pike gave his all invoking much laughter and merriment. Then it was the turn of the opposing team. Each member took part in a combination of all their stories performed together like this:-
We've been to Beverley and parascended
Watched rugby and gone up the wall
We've been to Hull and back
And the T-shirt tells it all
Gentlemen tonight we're going to kick up a Hullabaloo to prove to you that IT'S :----
NEVER DULL IN HULL
Our guide this evening is skipper Bob one of Hull's most respected Trawler Men who will introduce his crew.
George:---- "Sperm Whale Bragger"
Rich:------ "Whale Meat Again"
Jeff:------ "Dogger Bank Itch"
Ray:------- "Hull-A-Lu-Jah"
Bob:------- "S-less Captain Cod"
Now we ask you all to join in with our final Chorus
Hull-A-lu-jah, Hull-A-lu-jah
Hull-A-lu-jah, Hull-A-lu-jah, Hull-A----lu----jah
Never Dull ------- HULL ------- HULL -------
Never Dull ------- HULL ------- HULL -------
It's Never ever Never ever DULL -- IN -- HULL
At this point Jeff quickly opened his jacket beneath which he wore the opposing team's T-shirt. Guffaws!! and a whole raft of laughter and numerous comments. As things quietened a little Alan suggested that it was now beyond normal breakfast time in America so we should ring Pete. On speaker mode we had a few minutes talking with him then all together we wished him goodbye.
Next morning we had our annual conference followed by the ritual group photo minus Joe. We all then said our goodbyes and set off for home.